the picture changes
instantly
depending on how i tilt my head
but isn’t that what they say
about perspective?
it is everything, really
(and finally a reason
why it has become so easy to say i’ve forgotten
i’m forgetting you)
Crystalised - The xx
One of my favorite finds of 2009. Possibly my favorite album of 2009.
Thought I would share the wealth, for the two or three of you who are into the dream pop, ambient, downtempo, trip hop kinda thing.
The xx - xx
Amazing.
When I was little I had a big thing for airports. I still do, actually. There is just something so exciting about a place that can bring people together, no matter how far apart they really are. There is something magical about that.
My mom said my interest in airports probably started when I was three. My parents took me to an air show to see the Blue Angels fly. The other three-year-olds were terrified of the roars of the planes overhead and were screaming their heads off. My parents, prepared for the worst, had stuffed napkins in my ears. Napkins were the only things they had on hand, but they were afraid the noise would scare me, too. Instead I was smiling, trying to climb into one of the airplanes and take off. “Mommy,” I had said. “I want to fly.”
I like to think I got it from my father, that somehow this interest is just a part of my DNA. Some sort of tangible proof that I am my father’s child. He loved airports, too.
Back in the eighties, when airport security wasn’t so tight, my father would load me into his dark green pickup truck and drive me to the airport. We’d park near the landing strip and lay in the bed of his truck, watching planes come in and take off. We would make up stories about the passengers: where they had come from, what they were thinking, and who they were looking forward to seeing once they landed.
When I was eight, we had planned for another one of those days, watching the planes going in and taking off. The trip had been postponed all week because of rain and at recess there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. I was confident that our airport trip would finally be successful.
I ran out of class as soon as the clock hit three. But my dad wasn’t waiting for me, my mom was. My mother picked me up from second grade that day with dinner in the backseat of her car, chicken fingers and fries from Captain D’s. I knew something was wrong right away. Who eats dinner at three in the afternoon?
My mom was mostly quiet on the ride home. I asked her why my dad hadn’t come to pick me up from school. “I got off work early,” is all she said. When I asked about the airport she just told me I could go tomorrow, and without elaborating, she then asked about my day. It didn’t seem like she even cared, or that she was even listening, though. I kept talking the short ride home, but she didn’t even react when I told her I got an A on my spelling test.
At home, I asked why my mom didn’t get any food for herself, but she said she wasn’t hungry. I sat in the kitchen and was midway through my meal when I heard her crying from the other room. Why was she crying? My mom never cried, she was the strongest person I knew. She didn’t even jump when I would hide behind things and pop out to scare her. Crying did not make sense.
I went to ask her what was wrong and she just shook her head. “Did Uncle Mike die?” I asked her, wondering what it was that had upset her so badly. It had to be something real bad for her to be so upset. She shook her head.
“No, your daddy did.”
I called her a liar and told her I hated her. What had I done to make her pretend my dad was dead?
I ran to my room and locked the door. Then I had a meeting with God. I remember concentrating so hard. I squinted my eyes shut so tight that I began to see white and black dots blinking before my eyes. I told God I’d be good. I would eat all my vegetables, go to bed on time every night, and not sneak dessert before dinner. I would do all of those things and be the perfect daughter, if only he’d bring my father back. And I’d make it easy, he wouldn’t have to bring him to me, just bring him back. I would find him.
My mom went into my room a little later and I wasn’t there. She called the cops.
A police officer found me two hours later in the median on Blanding Boulevard. Apparently I told him I needed to get to the airport.
*circa 2005
From Cosmo, December 2009.
This is legit. I have the hard copy on my desk at work. Next time you think about engaging in any one of these “high-risk habits”, please think to use a substitute listed above. I think these suggestions are something we can all get on board with.
well, as it turns out, something can make me smile today. maybe it’s a sign?
sigh. i’ll live with it, whatever that means.
The original is great, but this version makes me feel something completely different. If I was to take all of my perfect moments, memories, and feelings and roll them into a song, the outcome might be something like this.
What a hauntingly beautiful cover.
Retro posters for the movie ‘Up’. I really like these posters. I’d love more things to be advertised this way. This is the world I want to live in. But then again, I really love retro-futurism. It must have started with the Carousel of Progress at Disney World. No wonder I really love shopping for candy at Cracker Barrel. Ah…simpler times.
